Getting Back to Your Spiritual Roots
I have a memory of being around the age of six years old, sitting at my school desk, and having the sudden questions, “Who am I?”, “Why am I here?” pop into my mind. It is said, though, that a lot of people never question their existence? They just accept that they are a physical, biological being and that this is the be-all, end-all of their existence. Just as many people, if not more, expect that there's some deeper level of existing - a Greater purpose.
They feel, as do I, a connection or a desire to connect to this greater purpose. This could be a deeper level of consciousness, and some refer to it as a spiritual enlightenment or awakening. Although I believe that there is a difference between the two. What’s important is that the person comes to a reality that they are a small part of a more complete consciousness, a greater power. This beginning awareness can lead to seeking a greater connection to a greater purpose by essentially trying to learn how to tap into the Spirit of that consciousness, as it isn’t a physical being.
It took another eight years to seize an opportunity to follow that yearning for something more that had been placed in my heart. Around the age of thirteen, I started attending church with my godfather and then convinced my family to attend one Sunday after I had been going for about a month. The day they attended, I made up my mind that I would accept the call for membership, and when it was announced, I rose to step over my mother to get out of the pew to do just that. Clearly unprepared for my action, I felt her hand tug on my dress, and she whispered, "No.”. This otherwise Mommy’s Girl gently smiled, affirmatively shook her head, and started walking towards the front of the church to join. Once there, I turned around to face the congregation and saw my mother and sisters walking down the aisle to do the same!
Organized religious groups make it very easy to get guidance. Perhaps, not spiritual guidance, though. Instead, you're given a certain set of beliefs to follow. Throughout adulthood, I remained an active member of several churches and even different denominations within the Christian faith, as we were a military family who moved to different states or countries every few years. I joined choirs, facilitated bible studies, hosted small life groups in my home, etc. Meanwhile, I was “wifing”, mothering, and meeting with success in my career as an educator.
During all the upheaval of 2020, when we were unable to attend gatherings at churches or the like, I had more time to reflect on my relationship with God throughout the five decades prior since that first thought of my existence - and His. I realized that at some point, I feltHim more in my life; HE moved within my daily existence more, and I yearned for that again. Frankly, guidance from many of the churches I have attended, led me to squelch practices that allowed me to feel God’s Spirit within me. For example, I have what I and others deem “the gift of speaking in tongues.” Now, I realize that it is an unintelligible language, yet it surrounds me with God’s warmth in an indescribable way! In the church setting, though, it isn’t always appropriate, and I have been personally informed that it only edifies oneself, so—In so many words—I was told, “Do it by yourself," to paraphrase.
So, I had a desire and gift to feel God’s presence and connect back to my roots, yet now I am outside of church walls. Where on earth would I get guidance? How will I know if I’m getting things right without the circle of Christianity? These were just a few questions running through my mind.
Getting Back To Roots Without Structure
The first issue I had to deal with before getting back to feeling more connected to God was anger. The political climate of 2020 and social injustices greatly affecting people who looked like me, built anger, resentment, and pain - all those feelings that do not breed Love.
I enrolled in a spiritual life coaching certification course with the duality and intent of being coached to self-mastery while learning how to coach others to do the same. I found a great deal of clarity on how to live a more empowered Sprititual life by gaining consciousness of when my ego is guiding me versus my Spirit. I also shed all guilt from the word "spirituality.” Many religions have made the word itself a vexation to a belief in God, when in fact God is Spirit! We get to know Him so much more when we come to Him with our whole hearts, through His Spirit that exists in us. Getting to know yourself through self-mastery is not only possible for deeper spirituality; it’s rather necessary. I now have more spiritually awakened, loving relationships with everyone around me.
Remember earlier, when I mentioned that I believe there’s a difference between enlightenment and an awakening? An awakening is the beginning of one’s personal process where they become conscious of something more. Your Spirit is messaging you that there is something more, and it is creating a yearning for something you just can’t put your finger on, but you know you feel unfulfilled. Now, here’s where I believe the distinction lies. The stage of enlightenment is a little more conscious; it is actually moving past fear-based beliefs and intentionally seeking more.
So, if you felt the slightest nudge and you’re still reading this, then here are two questions to ask yourself.
Why Would I Want to Become a More Spiritual Being?
Ask yourself if you feel fulfilled with your connection to a higher power. Evaluate your relationships with your partner, children, parents, siblings, etc. Do you find peace in those relationships? Can you define yourself to someone else without using your titles, labels, and roles? This is where your self-guidance to a deeper spirituality begins. The trick is to stay conscious and see every experience not as good or bad; right or wrong, but for what it actually is: an opportunity for spiritual growth.
What Does Spirituality Mean to Me?
For most people, it means connecting with something bigger than themselves. It's about being part of a bigger power or a universal level of consciousness. Again, a spiritual definition can be different for everyone. This is one of the reasons you need to guide yourself on your path. Your spiritual journey is uniquely yours, but know that it starts with you knowing you and that His Spirit exists within. Trust your instincts. Tune into what spirituality means to you. Feel your spirit reaching out to connect to a greater reality or consciousness. It’s OK. God is Sprit. Sprit is love.